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Cristina Danila

Any relationship can be better

Beoordeeld in Nederland op 3 februari 2018

Geverifieerde aankoop

Read this book and you learn about the the difficulties of maintaining an erotc relationship with your partner. Its a great book witha lot of examples. A great mention was how our society perceives monogamy and how unfair it can be at times - a woman who marries, divorces, has relationships, re marries is considered monogamous if she is exclusive to one man in that period of time. But a guy in a 10 years relationship with only one woman, he has one fling - and the society throws rocks at him. Makes you think.....

Nuttig

Uit andere landen

Brian Richards

Highly Recommend

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 12 september 2018

Geverifieerde aankoop

Gets to the heart of the matter in rather frank ways that some authors skirt around or dither about. There's an age old clichés about marital problems occurring because of a lack of communication, and the basis of the book seems to be just that; problems occur because couples just don't tell each other what's really going on in their minds. This can be for all sorts of reasons - fear of criticism, fear of looking weird or stupid, protecting someone else's feelings, presumption about what the other partner wants, or just plain lack of awareness.
Perel shows that many of our hopes, fears, desires and fantasies are not that weird at all, in fact they're more common than we realise and are mostly part of a normal, healthy mindset. Its just that we've been conditioned down certain routes and traditions of whats acceptable and what isn't. So much so that we don't always feel comfortable disclosing our needs and desires to even the closest person to us.
In some of her many talks that appear on youtube, Perel often hints at questioning whether monogamy is for everyone or whether its realistic at all. In the book, in one of the later chapters, she spells out her view more clearly... that monogamy is just as much a choice as any lifestyle choices, and although it's a model that fits many people, that it should not be regarded as the only way to be. She also points out the hypocrisy and changing definitions of monogamy (ie, one sexual partner for life). You could have two long term relationships, and consider yourself monogamous in both of them (!?), but as soon as you slept with the second partner, you were not monogamous!
She gives lots of examples of couples who talked things over and thrashed things out under her guidance and with her insight, and in each case the couples eventually came good and made the adjustments needed for a more fulfilling sex life. My only criticism is that she never gives examples of when, having disclosed their innermost thoughts and secrets, the couple realise they are incompatible, not on the same wavelength and split up! Taking a risk and opening up to your partner can have wonderfully positive effects, but it could also be a deal-breaker, and Perel doesn't seem to fully acknowledge this. It could be argued, though, that the risk of not communicating, putting your head in the sand and trying to maintain the status quo has its own unhappy consequences.
Nevertheless, it is an honest, helpful and thought-provoking read for any couple in a long term relationship who have started to wonder where has all the magic gone and why is sex becoming a bit boring and predictable.

65 mensen vonden dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

Jenjen

One of those ‘everyone should read this’ kind of books

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 22 april 2018

Geverifieerde aankoop

Takes her ages to get into the meat, the first chapter or two is just summarising what we all know, love is hard. But eventually she gets into case reviews which are super interesting and although really specific still weirdly universally applicable. I haven’t completely read a book in years and I smashed through this, it’s got highlights, notes and all sorts all over it now. Definitely a read to any one who cares about themselves and anyone else

29 mensen vonden dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

Roshan

Gossip from her clients, nothing else of note....

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 23 mei 2020

Geverifieerde aankoop

This is a very feminine book in the way it deals with subject matter mostly through an emotional appeal through the authors own experience.

I didn't find there to be much reasoning behind it. And in fact because it focuses purely on sex, it made me wonder what some of the advice she gave would have on the relationship (I think in one case she advises the couple to basically only meet for sex!).

And to be honest, I was reading it from the position of the 'red pill' lens anyway having read the inspirational books from Rollo Tomassi and it seems that this book does conform very much to views he puts forward in his books (basically maintaining frame and dominance). Given the author doesn't really demonstrate any rationale or any overall guiding principles I'm not quite sure what this book has to offer besides a lascivious title!

8 mensen vonden dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

Rose

An important and enjoyable perspective on passion

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 7 januari 2019

Geverifieerde aankoop

I love the way Esther Perel thinks and talks about sex and relationships - forthright but generous, open-minded, realistic and practical but also often poetic.

This is a thought-provoking book rather than a practical one - there aren't bullet point lists, plans or outright 'rules', but it'll make you consider your own relationships and habits, which is perhaps more meaningful in the long term. I listen to her podcast, Where Should We Begin?, so some of the content was a little familiar to me, but I enjoyed reading throughout.

8 mensen vonden dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

sapitt

Engaging, fascinating book

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 21 december 2017

Geverifieerde aankoop

I heard the author on radio 4 woman's hour and liked the sound of her. The book considers sensuality, sexuality and self in relation to an other and has made me consider cultural norms in relation to being part of a couple in a committed relationship. Hugely interesting book.

14 mensen vonden dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

Bianca Simion

Awesome book!

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 3 juni 2018

Geverifieerde aankoop

I really love this book! It’s very interesting and it really make me rethink my approach to intimacy and relationships in general!
Highly recommend this book!

6 mensen vonden dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

Sonja

Psychology

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 14 november 2018

Geverifieerde aankoop

A great little book full of interesting, easy to understand for anyone. Even the most complex concepts written in a sometimes witty but clear free of jargon but insightful analysis of aspect of humankind. Highly recommend it.

2 mensen vonden dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

Vero

Must read!

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 17 januari 2022

Geverifieerde aankoop

This book offers a detailed insight and focuses on giving answers - or better, food for thought. The best part is the way in which it is written: a smooth and pleasant reading. I would advise to read this book to people who have a partner but also to singles. Another awesome point is that the author is very inclusive and speaks about interracial, intercultural couples.

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

Pablo

Very important messages

Beoordeeld in het Verenigd Koninkrijk op 31 oktober 2018

Geverifieerde aankoop

I enjoyed the tone and messages explored in this detailed, relevant and very useful book. The humour was funny and clever and all the case studies were real and made the points very relatable. Would fully recommend!

Een iemand vond dit nuttig

Vertaal recensie in het Nederlands

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Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence (English Edition)

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